I’ve never really been a under achiever, so why the heck not try to sell a house, move, start a huge, new job, find a job for spouse, buy a new house, have both kids off to college and spend the first six months of our “empty nest” apart?  Easy peasy, right? Ok, I might have met my limit.

I’m not trying to complain, but this transition has solidified one thing in me deeper than ever before.  I just want roots. I want roots to grow, dig and spread and I don’t want to pull them up again…at least not for a long, long time. 

I’m at the age where simplification sounds like heaven on earth. I work darn hard every day and then want to be home with the one who means the most to me and enjoy our time, our season together. 

Part of me has questioned, “have I messed this up?” “was this a wrong move?” but each time my strength, my sweet love, assures me that it is the right move and it will work.  Like a dance team switching roles, on the days he questions, I manage to find a strength and hope to keep us on the road. 

As the road narrows and the end seems to get closer, the obstacles feel as if they are mounting.  I will admit, in my finest moment, I did let God know I was mad at him just a bit.  This past week has been a joy sandwiched in disappointments and then bad news wrapped in half-hearted “it might works”. 

Through all of this I recognize, the only thing sure is that God will guide us on the path right for us.  It’s not in my hands, our realtor’s hands or any others, it’s in His hands and I am grateful I have a strong and amazing husband who still wants to live in our “empty nest” with me.

Now…if we could just find that little nest.

So what lessons have I learned from the fire hose? Four pretty simple ones:

1) Never underestimate the power of networking and relationships. In this world of high-tech communications, it still boils down to humanity and you must take time to build relationships.

2) There is always, always, always time for research and strategy, even if it feels like you are trying to attach parts to the car while you are driving 60 mph on the highway! There’s no “too busy” to skip this crucial step…unless you aren’t concerned with effectiveness.

3) The art of prioritization is critical. Everything is urgent and with 24-7 communication on the phone, the cell, the computer, social media, we have to be able to sort through the chaos and identify the goals most important to the organization. The rest is important, but it can wait in line.

4) All work and no play makes Jane a very, very unbalanced and less effective professional. It’s tempting.  More hours, more time, more, more, more in order to just get “caught up”, but there really is a necessity for balance.  If you aren’t taking care of yourself, eating well, exercising and taking time off, your effectiveness as a professional will suffer. Promise.

The transition to a new position and greater responsibility has been invigorating.  I’ve tapped deeper into my skill set and reached further in my network to bring to the company what we need to grow.  It’s been an exciting and richly rewarding journey so far.

I’m not a lazy person, but some days I watch the life of our dogs…Buddy, pictured here…and think, wow, now that’s the life.

With no worries about the fiscal cliff, shoveling the driveway, what’s for dinner or how their beloved non-furry brother and sister will get through college, all there is to do is, well, nothing but chill.

Very little seems to disturb this zen state of the dogs and in some ways I envy them. Their daily choices amount to couch, in front of the fire or the cushy dog bed with my own blanket? On my back, curled in a ball or stretched out like super dog?

Buddy, if this fiscal cliff thing doesn’t get decided soon, I might just be joining you on the floor with my feet in the air. Can’t hurt, can it? LOL.

We are blessed with a daughter who has so much vision, so much drive and passion and the heart to change the world. There’s a plan or a mental check list behind every outfit, every day, every move. That’s an awesome, exact opposite of brother, trait, but it’s also a curse. I’d love to say she gets that from daddy, but a liar I’d be.

So our driven and motivated daughter with the plan for at least her next 15 years, may, on occasion, express an overabundant amount of emotion as a response to her world. On occasion, I have found myself surprised by my own reaction as a parent.

After an exceptionally stressful week and the crying so hard cry that she was gasping for breath, the total amount of parental wisdom was reduced to this counsel, “you really need to go find a party and blow off some steam. You can’t take life so seriously.”

Maybe not a Readers Digest moment, but accurate none-the-less. Go ahead, judge me, but a young college student should enjoy life, experience the great opportunities college brings and not be stressed how this grade on a paper impacts the remainder of their existence. I don’t remember life being so full of stress (yes, I recognize that is a symptom of aging…shut up), but I sincerely think life is so serious sometimes.

If I could leave some lasting impartation of profound wisdom, it might just be, “go find a party and don’t take life so seriously.” Seriously. I’ve been there, done that and it makes life suck!

Fly be free little daughter. Life will work out. Just apply your heart and enjoy the moment and make the most of the opportunities now. You’ll be amazing, you will change the world I have no doubt, regardless of the grade on that last test. I’m proud of you, but can we scale down the drama? LOL!

Life has become so complicated.  When did we get so uptight about labels that we can’t just enjoy and appreciate the fact that someone thinks of enough of us to wish us well?  Why do we suddenly have to do a racial, cultural and religious profile in order to wish some one a positive ending to the year? How are we supposed to be able to process that much “sensitivity” before we can be simply human and greet you well?  I wonder if that’s where the famous Canadian greeting, the generic and safe, “good day” came from? I digress.

Are we really that uptight that we have to dissect every greeting?  Can we just instead extend a bit of humanity and graciousness to receive the warmth bestowed upon us and simply say, “thank you”? Sincerely, I don’t know enough about you to know all of your preferences and hang ups, so I’m going to just wish a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to my friends.

I wish you well and sincerely hope you will enjoy the gift of time together with those who mean most to you. Happy New Year! (I think that is still safe, right?)

Be blessed!

It’s weird to be a parent and rooting for your kids who aren’t quite on their own but also deciding what our lives without them on an everyday basis will look like.

Current debate, townhouse or home? Do we plan space for the big groups of visitors once a year or less? What about when kids are home for summer?

It is a strange time indeed but I know the best is yet to come for all us.

I have two children in college. It’s proud, stressful, wonderful and exciting all in one giant jelly roll.

As a parent, I try so hard to be reasonable. Guide without hovering, accept without enabling and listen without judging. And I’m perfect at it you know. Ha!

If I had to offer any sort of insight, I’d say the hardest part of parenting teens and young adults is to listen without judging.

Sure, there were so many times I interrupted, jumped to conclusions and ended the conversation with my edict or impartation, only to shut down the real opportunity. It wasn’t until I learned to shut the hell up and listen, don’t freak out and then talk through some options that my relationship with the kids changed. They began to trust me, I began to trust them. They began to listen and so did I. It was a recipe for a win-win growing relationship with these young adults I was raising.

But what really gets my knickers in a wad is when ”well-meaning” others judge my kids with absolutely no frigging clue. They see, hear or assume one little part and paint a whole out of it. Excuse me, but you don’t know. You don’t have kids in college. You have no idea how much stress it is cheering, supporting and agonizing over the scores of quarter one. You have no idea, so please either join the cheering, or shut up!

Let’s face it people. I was a mess my first semester, hell, my first year of college. Why now are children all of a sudden supposed to be all together adult, professional and know exactly what they are supposed to do? Shit, I’m 40-something (yes, heavy on the something) and I think I finally know what I’m supposed to do.

So please, I ask you. If you have sage advice and kind input, bring it. But if you are just sitting off and judging, in the words of the sweetest neighbor ever, “NO THANK YOU Love.” Please, be patient, wings are in development and you might be really surprised at how far they fly. Please just join me in the cheering section.

When you are pregnant, people LOVE to tell you stories. Random folks give you advice and terrify you with the gritty, unsolicited details of their labor, but one piece of advice I remember, changed my life. One wise mother told me to never tip toe and shush everyone in the house when the kids went down to bed. The kids need to learn to sleep through noise.  And watching these tired and stressed young parents made me think of that wise advice. But I might have taken it too far.

You see my children, on occasion, would wake up with their bed in a different place than when they went to sleep. Thinking back, I’m sure this disorienting reality might have messed with them in the mornings, but for the most part, they seem pretty stable. I would go in to the kid’s rooms and clean, vacuum (which rarely goes without a new arrangement) and tidy up the shelves, toys, clothes, etc….all while they were asleep. And by rearrangement, I mean, moving their bed with them in it too. I never heard them say anything in the morning when they were in a different place than when they went to sleep, so they must be OK. At least I took as a tacit approval for the obsessions while they slept.

Perhaps there is something or some kind of balance from the tip-toeing to the what-happened-why-I-was-sleeping approach that I have deployed.

Sleep tight little babies.

I’m enjoying a delicious meal and beverage as I looked over the Twitter and Facebook posts of the day after work. I’m content, just enjoying the moment and the young gal down the table and across from me is slouching. My youngest will tell you that’s a trigger, but in this case, she is slouching so much that her chest is nearly on the table. She’s a beautiful young woman, but her posture is distracting!

As old as it sounds, slouching is sloppy, it’s bad for your spine, it doesn’t give your best and looks just uncomfortable and awkward. But all that aside, when you are wearing a very low cut rounded neck line on a t-shirt that really should have been retired about 10-20 pounds ago, the slouching takes on a whole new impact. Like a train wreck, all the young folks around her try to avert their gaze but end up looking into her…eyes over and over again.

Everything in me would like to signal her some how, maybe she has no idea that her posture/shirt combo have left absolutely NOTHING to the imagination. I force myself to look away and instead, order a shot of Fireball and pay my bill. See kids, I didn’t embarrass you this time. LOL!

“It’s today…my favorite day,” says Pooh.

Appreciate the simplicity of this and recognize the challenge to live it.

Pooh makes me think, think, think…